Sharks planning on coming ashore next Tuesday
January 27th, 2012 § 1 Comment
Sharks, normally found in and around beaches and anywhere else there is an ocean, announced last week that they would be coming ashore sometime next Tuesday.
The announcement came after a Hammerhead shark built an ocean to land breathing apparatus after narrowly missing a surfer that he was trying to make his dinner. Frustrated by his loss of a meal, the shark went and designed a gill to air to water conversion inhaler that is similar in design to our own modern S.C.U.B.A gear. After a successful run onto the beach where the surfer was sitting conversing with his friends, the Hammerhead laid in wait for about ten minutes behind a lifeguard stand until finally pouncing awkwardly onto the surfer and dragging him back into the ocean depths. The success of the sharks first steps onto dry land sent shock waves throughout the shark community. Soon, production on thousands of shark breathing gear was underway and an announcement was made for their landfall arrival on Tuesday.
Shark experts and fans of Shark Week on the discovery channel are unsure as to how this could happen, even prompting one scientist to exclaim “We’re Fucked” to a packed audience at a recent shark expo in San Diego, California. The scientist felt what most though are feeling as the Shark arrival looms ever closer.
Police are telling everyone to stay indoors this Tuesday and to not answer the door for anyone that comes, Sharks are very crafty and have been known to be masters of disguise in their hunt for food.
My son surfs three days a week. This is not a relevant fact, but I thought I’d tell you anyway.